To [someone], wherever you are....

#10 - Have a snail mail penpal:

A little strange, I know, but the idea of giving and receiving letters in the mail has always made me smile. 

Just the mere thought that someone would take their time to sit down and write to another person, sharing their lives through 1-2 neatly (or messily) scribbled words means more than just an e-mail. I love how paper comes with its own smell, stains and discolorations, even pen smudges. Actual letters are just more personal. 

Don't misunderstand when I admit that I have been known to have an e-mail penpal or two in my extensive list of friends. Yet every once in a while, I wish that I had a friend who I could just pick up a pen and paper and share everything with.

My bf Matt told me that if I really want a penpal, I should look into prison programs or even write to a soldier. Part of me sounds happy to do that, possibly bring some joy into another person's life. Maybe not now or anytime soon, but I hope that one day I can share just a little sliver of sunshine with someone who truly needs it.

~Jenn

"Piercing" a fear....

#9 - Face a fear:

Fears, we all have them. Mine are very common: needles, spiders, drowning. While all of them scare me senseless and I've faced two of them in big ways (I will explain the scuba diving story another time), I think I'll address the first one I faced.

I've been deathly afraid of needles longer than anyone knows. Yes, I've had my ears pierced before, but those are done with a special gun. I'm talking about needle needles. 

In fact, I have distinct memories of needing to be held down at the doctors office because I would scream and cry when I saw that syringe. I can't tell you what started my fear of needles, but even at 28 years old, I need someone to talk me down when I have to get a shot. Yet when I was 18, I was determined to try and face my somewhat irrational fear head on.

It was my freshman year of college when my friend Liz had told me she wanted to get a tattoo. Nothing too major, just a simple arm band of vines and leaves. When her parents saw it, they were a little upset, but I thought it looked beautiful. But getting back to the original story, when Liz proposed this idea, I had been thinking about piercing my navel. Of course, she encouraged the thought and before we knew it, both of us were on the hunt for the perfect tattoo/piercing parlor in Westchester County. Our search sent us to our friend, Daina, who was covered in various tattoos & piercings. We were in luck when she told us to go to "Big Joe & Sons" in Yonkers, NY. After a phone call to make our appointments, the plan was officially set. 

Many times I thought I was going to chicken out on getting it done, but I assured myself that I needed to do this. If not for a cool, new piercing, than to face this crazy fear that has paralyzed me for years. So on the day of our appointment, we went into the shop and while Liz picked out her cool tattoo, I went straight to the chair.

After 10 years, the distinct memories of who did it and the layout of the room have become a little hazy, but what assured me was seeing all the equipment cleaned and opened in front of me. I knew I was paying a little bit more than most people for a piercing, but I knew I was in the right hands. I laid down on my back, trying to take deep breaths as the piercer prepared his station. 

When I saw he was ready, I closed my eyes. I couldn't watch him pierce my skin, because I would feel  He told me to keep taking deep breaths and after I took this one deep breath and exhaled, I would be done. I figured he knew what he was talking about and after one deep breath and a slight pinch of the skin, I felt instant relief when I heard him say "alright, you're all done."

Looking down, there was this silver ring peeking out below. I almost couldn't believe it, I had gotten a body piercing and I had not freaked out or cried like I had in the past. It felt vindicating and wonderful. True, I had many, many months of cleaning it to make sure it didn't get infected, but I was ok with that. I conquered a huge hurdle in a pretty intense way. 

So yeah, I may still panic or cry when they give me a shot or take blood, but now I know that for at least one time, I was able to handle it. And that means more than any vaccination. 

~Jenn

It's all Greek to me....

#8 - Learn a complex language:

Ever since I could remember, I've always been fascinated with languages. The words, the meanings, the conjugations, the reasoning behind the phrasing order....all of it fascinates me to no end. So many different languages to learn, so little time. But that's not to say I haven't learned at least one or two in the meantime. ;-)

From 8th to 12th Grade, it was Spanish. (It felt good meeting friends who could only speak Spanish and helping them make fun of the people who would make fun of their lack of English.) In college, I learned French, which is such a beautiful language to learn! If you have the time and patience to learn the several similar pronunciations, then I suggest you try it.   

In the next ten years, I hope to brush up on the languages I've already learned, as well as learn Italian, German & one mystery language. For a while, I've thought about Mandarin Chinese. Why? Mainly because it's so difficult and to learn it would be a huge goal accomplishment. But as of late, I've started changing my mind. 

With Matt having family members who still live in Greece, it might be an even better challenge to learn how to speak Greek to converse with them. I know his Aunt Elizabeth is such a sweetheart and it would make me feel even better if there was a way to bridge the language gap in some way.

I think for 2012, this goal needs to start. I'm tired of just checking off each goal one at a time. It's time to start finding my way back to my love for knowledge and more important, for language.

~Jenn